did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize