Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
