He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
