mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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