Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
