I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
operation have a gay friend backfired
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
