i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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