only if we run a train.
done.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
