Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
40s are totally the cure
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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