i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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