a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
