Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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