He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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