Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just invented taco cereal.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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