A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
