my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize