remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
