1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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