Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
barbara walters just said penis...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
