Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think I won the penis lottery.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
