apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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