To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
worst night to have a conscience
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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