I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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