I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
