so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
