Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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