Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
