I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize