Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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