guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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