yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
