It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
