Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
