You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
