I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
