that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
