i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
