Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
