The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
