Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
