$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize