it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
