You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
