ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize