Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
