Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
