that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
