one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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