I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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