I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
