I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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