How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
