So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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