Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
