no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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