I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
