Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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